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First Day of Kindergarten. We will tackle a haircut next week 🙂

I would have loved to start this entry saying that Kindergarten has been a smooth transitioning process, but I can’t.  It has been easier than if Diego had started at the public school as we had originally planned, and his current teacher thinks he is doing great.

But at home?? 

Not so much.

In typical Aspie form, my amazing little boy  keeps it together the best he can at school and leaves the “best” behavior for home.

The  combination of  Kindergarten, 30 minute vs 2 hour naps in a child who maybe falls asleep by 11 then wakes at 6am, and some side effects of the Tenex, have left Diego a sad, self-injurious, tantrumming mess at home. 

Diego has been so sad, which is very unlike him.   Over the weekend he was sobbing, looked at me  and said “I don’t know why I am crying.”

Heartbreak much??

I have read that this happens to some kids while on Tenex, and along with having the depressed-ish mood, Diego has also been more out of it than normal. Rickey and I sat last night, compared notes, and have decided that we are going to email  his neuro to see if it is advisable to cut down the  half tablet he takes in the morning to a quarter or just wait a few weeks until Diego gets into a routine. 

There are just so many variables right now  that it is hard to figure out what is causing which behaviors.

On top of all that is going on, Diego’s father is pulling away.

Yup.

Rather than gathering all of the courage and tenacity needed to help his son, he has decided that it is best to phase himself out. 

The Sunday before last, his father came to get him without a car seat. 

I maintained my composure and asked if he intended to take Diego with out one and he said he was. 

Still maintaining my composure and keeping the “happy voice” I offered him my  car seat.

To which he declined.

Then I offered to take D to his mother’s house for him, so that he would be safe.

To which he declined.

Then he decided to open his stupid mouth and say, right in front of Diego, “just keep him”.

I tried to keep it  light and jovial again offering both of the things listed above and then he said it again.

“Just keep him.”

I looked at him and said that Diego was really looking forward to being with him, but of course that didn’t matter.

Diego may have not picked up on it the first two times but as I removed him from his father’s car, I could see he got it the third time his asshole father said “just keep him”.

Diego looked at me when I put him in the car seat and said “I want to go to grandma’s, you should have brought daddy a car seat”

His hurt was palpable.

I gave him a big hug, and gently told him, “I will take you to grandma’s but it is  NOT my responsibility to bring daddy a car seat, it is your daddy’s responsibility to make sure that you are safe in his car.”

He wasn’t satisfied with this at first and we went around in a similar fashion for a few minutes, but eventually I found a way to validate his dissapointment and make him laugh. 

Once we got there, he was very excited to see his grandma and tia. 

Apparently his father decided to show up later on. 

This past Sunday I just took Diego directly to grandma’s as his father called me 15 minutes before he was supposed to pick  Diego up to tell me he wouldn’t be, because he was working….

Convenient

Diego’s father has no understanding what a last minute change can do to Diego’s temperament, in fact he has made it all too apparent that he doesn’t care to understand. 

I have now mastered the art of being vague when it comes to preparing Diego for Sunday afternoons.  I usually tell him that he is going to grandma’s and either mommy or daddy will take him.

Have I mentioned I can’t stand his father’s ignorant ass?!?!?

Lots of stuff….

Just

So

Much

P.S

We have moved the wedding to Sacramento last-minute. Rickey’s mother is sick and asking her to travel down here is not the right thing to do.  So we are going up there, I am so grateful for the fantastic coordinator at the venue we found up there, but it has been major work!!

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About sonidoinquieto

I hate writing bios *bio pending*

6 responses »

  1. Every autism mom I know has had a really rough start to the school year, myself included. It’s been nothing short of hell at home. Know that you are not alone in this. We will all make it through this, some how. Oh, and I agree, D’s dad is an ass. That’s about the nicest/least venomous thing I can say about him right now. Hang in there, mama. We’ll get through this.

    Reply
  2. I echo what Jess and Niksmom said. I don’t even know you personally but I want to be there for you. I want to be the one in the driveway when his dad shows up so I can tell him off for you 🙂
    I hope the wedding is giving you something to look forward to. You deserve a break. I wish we could all swoop in and take care of it all for you so you can focus on the happy things…

    Reply
  3. now there’s a cutie on his first day of school!

    so sorry for the hard days at home. i can tell you are one strong mama to handle everything you do and then have to cover for diego’s father.

    Reply
  4. It breaks my heart to see how hard my little one struggles and to read how difficult it is for other children to hold it together at school. It makes things so much more challenging at home for everyone when they’ve simply run out of the energy or the ability to hold it together. It hurts.

    And D’s dad? Lucky more of us don’t live near you or he’d have some serious answering to do. WTF? That just makes me angry and sad for you and Diego. I’m sorry. 😦

    Reply
  5. oh, sister .. OY. i wish i could be there. and kick some @ss. xo

    Reply
  6. therocchronicles

    We have rough days after kindergarten too. They try so hard during the day and then just let it all out at home. Not easy for either of you! Those after school tantrums are HARD! I know, we lived through a huge one today! I try to make sure that we’ve planned something to do right when he gets home, something that he likes and picked out in the morning. He usually reminds me as soon as he steps off the bus, it doesn’t always work, but some days it eases the transition. On those days it doesn’t work, I know that he’s really overloaded and just needs to blow it off. (and then I have a drink! haha!)

    Reply

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