I would have loved to start this entry saying that Kindergarten has been a smooth transitioning process, but I can’t. It has been easier than if Diego had started at the public school as we had originally planned, and his current teacher thinks he is doing great.
But at home??
Not so much.
In typical Aspie form, my amazing little boy keeps it together the best he can at school and leaves the “best” behavior for home.
The combination of Kindergarten, 30 minute vs 2 hour naps in a child who maybe falls asleep by 11 then wakes at 6am, and some side effects of the Tenex, have left Diego a sad, self-injurious, tantrumming mess at home.
Diego has been so sad, which is very unlike him. Over the weekend he was sobbing, looked at me and said “I don’t know why I am crying.”
I have read that this happens to some kids while on Tenex, and along with having the depressed-ish mood, Diego has also been more out of it than normal. Rickey and I sat last night, compared notes, and have decided that we are going to email his neuro to see if it is advisable to cut down the half tablet he takes in the morning to a quarter or just wait a few weeks until Diego gets into a routine.
There are just so many variables right now that it is hard to figure out what is causing which behaviors.
On top of all that is going on, Diego’s father is pulling away.
Rather than gathering all of the courage and tenacity needed to help his son, he has decided that it is best to phase himself out.
The Sunday before last, his father came to get him without a car seat.
I maintained my composure and asked if he intended to take Diego with out one and he said he was.
Still maintaining my composure and keeping the “happy voice” I offered him my car seat.
To which he declined.
Then I offered to take D to his mother’s house for him, so that he would be safe.
To which he declined.
Then he decided to open his stupid mouth and say, right in front of Diego, “just keep him”.
I tried to keep it light and jovial again offering both of the things listed above and then he said it again.
“Just keep him.”
I looked at him and said that Diego was really looking forward to being with him, but of course that didn’t matter.
Diego may have not picked up on it the first two times but as I removed him from his father’s car, I could see he got it the third time his asshole father said “just keep him”.
Diego looked at me when I put him in the car seat and said “I want to go to grandma’s, you should have brought daddy a car seat”
His hurt was palpable.
I gave him a big hug, and gently told him, “I will take you to grandma’s but it is NOT my responsibility to bring daddy a car seat, it is your daddy’s responsibility to make sure that you are safe in his car.”
He wasn’t satisfied with this at first and we went around in a similar fashion for a few minutes, but eventually I found a way to validate his dissapointment and make him laugh.
Once we got there, he was very excited to see his grandma and tia.
Apparently his father decided to show up later on.
This past Sunday I just took Diego directly to grandma’s as his father called me 15 minutes before he was supposed to pick Diego up to tell me he wouldn’t be, because he was working….
Diego’s father has no understanding what a last minute change can do to Diego’s temperament, in fact he has made it all too apparent that he doesn’t care to understand.
I have now mastered the art of being vague when it comes to preparing Diego for Sunday afternoons. I usually tell him that he is going to grandma’s and either mommy or daddy will take him.
Have I mentioned I can’t stand his father’s ignorant ass?!?!?
Lots of stuff….
We have moved the wedding to Sacramento last-minute. Rickey’s mother is sick and asking her to travel down here is not the right thing to do. So we are going up there, I am so grateful for the fantastic coordinator at the venue we found up there, but it has been major work!!