“Today is not a good day for a nervous breakdown“
The reality of this statement is what is allowing me to keep it together.
As I repeat this in my head, I am reminded that too many people would be affected if I had a nervous breakdown today.
D is starting Kindergarten Thursday, Lyric just started junior high, the wedding is in two months, etc….
None of these major events grant for me to lose it, add the usual happenings of our life and it is even more apparent that a nervous breakdown would be a complete inconvenience.
I’m fine, usually too busy to sit and think about the gravity of trying to keep it all together. But then there are rare times, like right now, that the complete weight of everything crushes me, leaving me absolutely convinced that I can’t wake up and do it again.
It is such a low and hopeless place.
I hate it.
But I will get through it because I have before.
This is what will get me through today.