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“You can’t wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time.”~P. Schroeder

Overwhelmed would be an understatement, but the closest word to describe the past few weeks. 

The details of everything would bore anyone, just because it would be too damn long to read.  But I need to get at least part of it out, so here is the condensed version.

In addition to running an entire clinic, with minimal help (see staff shortage and the hospital’s tragically long  hiring process), Diego has had me in the ER and doctors offices a lot more than we typically are.  In he past D has had some abnormal test findings for his brain and DNA, but typically we don’t visit the doctor ‘doctor’ this much.   

The abnormal brain finding shows that the part of his brain responsible for his visual motor skills  is being pressed against by two dilated perivascular spaces, so he will have to work harder in an area where he already has difficulty due to his autism. 

His DNA shows  a balanced translocation and chromosome deletions that currently have ‘undetermined clinical significance’ (aka waiting on research to catch up) and now we can add a benign abnormal heart rhythm with possible premature atrial contractions or the benign abnormal heat rhythm with panic attacks.  The brain and chromosomes are old news for us as it has been a few months.  The heart is new and is what has kept me running around (even more so than usual) like a chicken with her head cut off.  We are currently waiting to see the cardiologist to hopefully give him a clean bill of health, other than the arrhythmia.  While I am hopeful that what is going on has nothing to do with his heart, it breaks mine to think that my baby at the age of 5, is having panic attacks. 

Diego is verbal, but he still has a very hard time with his expressive (and pragmatic) language.  Anyone that has experienced an irregular heart rate can attest to the fact that it causes one to be more aware of what their heart is doing and usually causes alarm, even if one already knows that it is due to caffeine, etc…

But I think that when it happens to Diego in addition to the usual things that assault his senses, it is all too much and ends in a panic attack :(. 

I am almost positive this isn’t a cardiac issue, Diego’s anxiety is constantly through the roof.  If it isn’t a cardiac issue and is an anxiety issue, I am sure someone is going to hint to an anti anxiety med for him.  To possibly avoid any new medications, I am going to work with him on new relaxation techniques and how to apply them when his heart rhythm changes.  I will still obviously work on recognizing and expressing the anxiety, but the heart rhythm is tangible and my little concrete thinker will hopefully apply the relaxation techniques that I teach him are “for when his heart acts funny”.  I really don’t want him on anymore meds. 

Behavior has also been an issue, we were tweaking his Risperdal dose (not causing the heart issues I checked 🙂 ) and his beahvior was just escalating.  After emailing Beth and Kim (Thank you both for being amazing) and hearing about their medication experiences it was all too obvious that I needed to take him back down. 

So I did. 

I was  increasing it on our Neuro recommendation to hopefully decrease the frequency of meltdowns, especially since it had already provided some slightly positive results with the intensity of his meltdowns (aka his self injurious behavior).  I am going to take the behavior we have now, it is an improvement, even if not ideal.  We will also continue to try techniques that aren’t medicine.

The increase had me ready to enter the loony bin and probably poor D too. 

I am going to end this with a plea to you all.  California is proposing a 750 million dollar cut to DDS services, as a result of this they are trying to impose new guidelines for services that would violate our children’s rights under The Lanterman Act.  The DDS has posted a survey for parental feedback and of course the questions are just difficult enough to try and discourage us from answering. 

KTLP has posted responses to the questions as a guideline for parents, this is listed after the survey link below.  Please follow the link below, complete the survey and help us advocate for our babies. 

I spent 16 months fighting to get D into the regional center, I needed help paying for the very expensive ABA therapy that D needed, that is all I wanted from them as my insurance has covered most everything else (after some pushing on my part).   Thankfully he was finally qualified for services two months ago, but there is still a lot of red tape to navigate until he gets his ABA therapy, possibly costing us another precious few months.

That was 16 months he could have been getting ABA by a behaviorist….not mom, but because we couldn’t afford to hire someone and The Regional Cener screened us out (due to their ‘standards’) with no compassion, we lost that precious time. These new ‘standards’ that they are trying to impose on POS services will hurt the development of a lot of our children. 

Thank You 🙂

Here is the link for the survey,

From the KTLP Website:

Statewide POS Standards will KILL the promise of The Lanterman Act. If you want to stop this, we suggest you answer the DDS Survey something like this:

Question #1: Suggested service standards about who should receive these services:
Answer: Those individuals whose Individual Program Plan (IPP) team has identified a need for these services, as described in The Lanterman Act Section 4646 (a) – (d).

Question #2: Suggested service standards about how often a specific service should be provided:
Answer: As often as the IPP team determines is necessary, as described in The Lanterman Act Section 4646.5 (a) (4).

Question #3: Suggested service standards about how to make sure the services provided are useful and effective:
Answer: Usefulness and effectiveness of services should be determined by the IPP Team at every IPP meeting, as described in The Lanterman Act Section 4646.5 (a) (6).

Question #4: Suggested service standards about the qualifications and performance of the person or organization that provides these services:
Answer: Services should be provided only by persons or organization that are properly vendorized as described in The Lanterman Act Section 4648 (a) (3) (A).

Question #5: Suggested service standards about the payment for these services:
Answer: The Lanterman Act, in Sections 4648 (a) (5) and 4690 requires the Director of the Department of Developmental Services to develop and maintain equitable processes for setting rates to assure that Regional Centers can secure high quality services for persons with developmental disabilities. The Director should comply with these laws.

Question #6: Suggested service standards about the responsibility of parents and consumers for these services, e.g., co-payment, time commitment, etc.
Answer: The State of California has accepted a responsibility for persons with developmental disabilities and an obligation to them which it must discharge. (The Lanterman Act Section 4501). The state does not ask parents and students for co-pays in California’s pubic schools and the same logic applies here.

Question #7: Suggested service standards about self-directed or self-determination options for these services:
This question cannot be answered until California has a clearly defined mechanism for implementing self-directed or self-determination options.

My Own ‘Special’ Groundhog Day

Remember that movie “Groundhog Day” starring Bill Murray?

I was up late one night over the weekend and I came to the conclusion that my life goes on cyclically…..

Like Bill in Groundhog Day.

Follow me.

This is going somewhere.

I promise.

I go on about the things that happen in my life as if they were the norm.  I drive D to various appointments all week, make and use visual schedules, implement sensory diet while trying to keep it interesting (read The Out of Sync Child), practice Diego’s fine and gross motor exercises with him , prompting, social skills practice, you name it we are doing it at some point…these things along with all other things that encompass  mom, wife, and employee are the norm for me.

Sure it is a lot, but it is just how we get down in our house 🙂

It is typical for me to play phone/ email tag with at least 2 member of D’s team weekly. 

Typical to spend many nights….awake….thinking…..worrying…..crying. 

Typical to be stretched very thin and still feel like I haven’t done enough. 

Like there is always something more.

Something I could do better.

Anyway these days pass almost effortlessly for my family (and I’m assuming most of you that are reading this) as we have worked out a rhythm with our nutso schedule.


every so often?


It dawns on me that the way we live isnt typical or very easy for that matter.

Other families have traded our therapies therapy for sports or dance classes, can spontaneously take their child anywhere without thinking about how it sounds, looks, or smells before even really fully entertaining the idea, or may overlook the  little things like “please’ and ‘thank you’ coming out of a 6 year old’s mouth.

I mean why should that be significant to the parent of a typical six year-old child?

I didn’t think anything of it when Lyric spontaneously used his manners at 2. 

It was the way it should be.


The way things should be??

Silly naive girl..

Fast forward to today, we are going on 6 and still not getting a ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ unless he is prompted….many times.

I don’t write this with any animosity toward the parents of typical children, so I hope that it doesn’t come off that way.

But I would be a big fat liar if I didn’t blog about the reality of my life and of parents that are  in the same boat as I am.

My child has autism.





We are the 1-110 statistic.



When this dose of reality hits me, I am taken right back to the first day I really knew that D had autism and then I experience every single thing I felt that day all over again.






the suffocating  fear

have to be dealt with all over again.

Like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, I try to meet these difficult days with a different approach each time, hoping that I have finally found a way not to let the realization of our autism diagnosis ruin me (as it threatens to do each time this happens).

As time passes some things are so much easier and I see how far our family has come.

But I just can’t seem to get out of this cycle. 

I can’t stop experiencing my own ‘special’ type of groundhog day

I wonder if it will stop?

Am I still in some sort of denial about D’s autism diagnosis?

I have spent so much time this past year, trying to get people to listen to me, to help me help Diego, that I don’t think that I have taken a lot of time to entirely process it all within myself. 

Maybe it is really too much for any of us to process at one time…maybe someone bigger than me knows that I need these lapses of full reality.


I am sorry if this sounds bleak, depressing, or anything along those lines, but I remember a year ago that I promised myself that I would be candid and true to myself while writing this blog. 

So that is what I’m doing 🙂

Time To Help

It is time for us as mothers, friends, and family to band together. 

One of our own needs our help. 

Many of you know Beth and Nik, if you don’t please visit her blog at

 Beth is an amazing mother and friend, she has been instrumental in helping me keep my sanity (along with a million other things) the past year of my life.  Anyone that has received an autism diagnosis, knows how isolating it can be.  Beth let me know that I wasn’t alone.  Despite everything that is on her plate, she is always reaching out to help someone. 

Nik is an amazing little guy, super smart, funny, and cute as all get out!  No really he is way too cute!!  

Nik using his borrowed iPad


Nik is also pre-verbal and needs an iPad and we can help.  We have all read about the amazing Apple autism apps, not to mention that the iPad will, most importantly, help Nik communicate with those around him. 

Amazing right?



go here



The amount doesn’t matter….just something….I know our community and I KNOW that we can do this!

Once you have donated please take that link and send it to EVERYONE you know.

Thank You



Yesterday I met Joey*, super adorable kid with wide eyes and eyelashes us ladies would pay hundreds of dollars for.

Joey came with his parents and 8 month old brother to the surgery clinic next door for his dad’s appointment.

My clinic was super slow, and I just couldn’t resist the urge to take a sticker to the child that said “Hi” to everyone. As I looked at Joey I guessed that he was probably three years old and would love the Pooh Bear and Tigger sticker I held in my hand.  I approached Joey with the sticker and asked him his name. 

I was met with an unintelligible response.

Immediately I thought ‘oops maybe he is younger than I thought’. 

I tried to hand him the sticker again but he was incredibly focused on pulling my badge over and over again. 

It was like the sticker didn’t exist. 

Then I asked his mother his age. 

He will be three next month.

Joey had a lot of  energy, which could mean trouble in a small exam room, so I told his mom that he could hang out with me in the lobby while they  saw the physician. 

 They were both very grateful.

Joey and I hung out and  said “Hi” to everybody about 100 times, seriously.  We walked up and down the hallway quite a few times.  We attempted to color but Joey had a very hard time holding the crayon, while I tried to help him grasp it, I noticed nails that probably haven’t been cut for a month. 

You all have to know where I am going with this…

During our time together Joey would speak to me in his own special way or repeat exactly what I said.  His only intelligible words were “Hi” and “Bye” and it seemed that the only thing that really held his attention was my darn badge.  So I let him wear it and watched as he delighted in pulling it over and over. 

Joey was very familiar to me.

He reminded me of my Diego.

As I sat attempting to engage him, I wondered  if his parents ever thought about the big ‘A’.

He finally got bored with my badge, and I had some Play-Doh, but figured that we should ask his parents before we broke it out. 

I took Joey with me into the exam room to talk to his mom and dad about the Play-Doh and we all got to talking. It turned out that they just moved here a month ago from Miami for dad’s job and then 2 weeks ago  dad had this significant, but manageable medical setback.  I asked them if English was Joey’s first language ( the family was Indian),  dad said no and then went on to explain that Joey just had a speech evaluation. 

All I thought was, here is  my chance!!

So I said “My son had a speech delay similar to Joey’s, he was diagnosed with autism last year.” 

I waited, half expecting mom or dad to be absolutely livid for my implying that Joey might have autism.

But neither one was.

Joey’s dad replied that the speech therapist mentioned that Joey might have autism and that they were currently waiting on the regional center to contact them for a developmental assessment.  Mom and dad both mentioned how lost they felt having just moved here and not knowing how to navigate the system.

Well the flood gates a.k.a. my mouth opened and all I knew spewed forth.

I gave them info on the C3 program here in SD that would get Joey in much sooner for a developmental assessment than the regional center, as well as info on free speech programs here to get Joey started while they were waiting for the regional center.  Their insurance told them that they don’t cover speech therapy so I also told them that I would love to help them navigate their insurance company. 

I fight with those bastards everyday.

We talked for a bit about what autism might look like, discussed some of Joey’s behaviors, and the epidemic of autism

Then dad blew me away and asked if  I had any advice for them.

I chuckled, as I am a novice at this entire autism thing and probably not one to give advice.  But I stopped, thought for a minute, and told them to expect that it would be hard, that they would have to fight, that it could be quite isolating, but that Joey is amazing, special, has amazing potential,and that they are strong enough to lead him.  I tried my best not to cry as Joey’s mom and dad asked me for my contact info and I was probably too eager as I gave them the info and said to call me anytime. 

Even if just to talk. 

I ‘get it’.

We parted ways about an hour, three hugs, and two kisses from Joey (which mom said is very unusual for him 🙂 ) later. 

My faith has suffered a lot the past year, but even I can admit that this was not a coincidence.

*name changed for obvious privacy reasons*

Two steps forward and one step back

Damn it

I have been so overcome with so much that I haven’t been able to put all of my thoughts and feelings into words for days.

But I’m gonna give it a go today. 

Diego has kept me very busy with a myriad of sensory issues and impulsive acts that I thought we had conquered.  Diego has started touching again, not in inappropriate places, but inappropriate all the same.   Of course this is causing problems at school, and nothing we seem to distract him with curbs the behavior.  Kids are shunning him when he does this and it breaks my heart and because of his increased sensory dysfunction and anxiety, his language has also been extremely affected.  An outburst this morning had me ducking to keep from being knocked upside the head by D’s sunglasses while driving him to school this morning.  All because he couldn’t see through them and couldn’t find the words to express that he would like me to clean them.  He also can’t seem to be away from my side…errrr lap for more than 5 minutes and while I love cuddling, I also would like some space.  I’m not exaggerating either, I can’t get any time alone, it is like he is a drug addict and his drug of choice is my lap and ears. 

Maybe it is time to increase his sensory diet at home, another social story, stick harder to his visual schedule that he seemed to be doing so well without???

On top of things I have been sick the past two days which means he can’t be all over me and this hasn’t elicited the best behavior. Rickey has tried as much as he can to stand in, but D wants mommy.  Once I explained at length that mommy has bad germs, my germaphobe laid off a bit.  He now asks me every few minutes if I am better yet. 

So sick as a dog I took D to his neurology appointment yesterday (no way we were missing it as it takes forever to get in).  After giving Dr Trauner the run down of positives and negatives that have been occurring, she said two things that knocked the air out of me:  #1 his diagnosis has officially changed to High Functioning Autism, which would be great if it got D additional services but the regional center refuses to listen to the neurologist  and #2 She want to start him on Tenex for impulse and anxiety control before he starts school. 


He is 5…

I don’t know what to do. 

I mean I trust her, Dr Trauner knows what the hell she is talking about.  I work in medicine, have done so for 9 years and I have seen medicine work for so many other medical issues.

But God I am so scared to go this route, I think it also cements the fact that autism isn’t going anywhere and I am having a very hard time with it.

So much for “acceptance”.

Anyway, Tenex is frequently used to treat high blood pressure, but is also used for other things.  Like the issues Diego and kids like him have.  It isn’t a stimulant or a narcotic.  I have read that the side effects are mild, one of which is drowsiness, and hell we could use some help with sleep in our house.

But what if it changes who he is??

No matter what I do, I am concerned that I may make the wrong decision….

On top of this Lyric is going through puberty, which enters an entire new realm of parenting that I am a complete novice at.


I’m doubting myself and I am sad along with so many other emotions.  If anyone reading this has had any experience with Tenex please share it with me.  If you are not comfortable writing it here an email can be sent to

Thanks 🙂


Congratulations Nana!!

Brag time!!!

Yesterday was my mother’s 11 year anniversary of her sobriety and everyone was meeting at a local restaurant for dinner to celebrate.

I was very nervous about taking Diego on my own as Rickey was scheduled to be at work, but figured that we would try it and worst case scenario is that we would have to leave if it all became too much for him.

Anyway it turned out that Rickey had yesterday off and this put me at ease a bit.  Having the two of us to attend to Diego was way better than just one of us.  

Before we left to the restaurant, I prepared a PB&J dinner (I think I have mentioned that is all Diego will eat for dinner at this time), some sensory stuff, his whales, and his Leapster.

We were as ready as we could be.

When we were walking up to the restaurant, Diego said ” Oh no! Not this place, it bumps my head.” 

We told Diego that if it got to be too much that we could just leave and he seemed to be happy with that.

We got in and the restaurant was the slowest that I have ever seen it! 

Thank God!!

Other than Diego getting a bit annoyed that I didn’t bring the headphones for his Leapster (mom #Fail), Diego did a fantastic job!! 

Rickey, Lyric and I tag teamed through dinner.  We did use all of the resources we brought, but hey that’s what they were there for!  

Diego made it through the entire dinner happy and smiling.  He also gave one of the folks at dinner a brief lesson on his whales when she mistakenly called them

I am so proud that he was able to regulate himself enough to make it through dinner, especially since things have been pretty tough around here lately

There has been lots of talk among the professionals and myself  about regression.


I hate that word and I am not going to blog about it today.

I am just going to rejoice in how fantastic dinner at a restaurant  went for our family!

Off to Diary of a Mom’s Community Brag Page  I go!!!


Diego tells on himself.  It is one of  the funniest things ever.  If I tell him not to do something and he gets away with it, it is guaranteed that within a couple of minutes of the crime you will hear


When I ask him why he is sorry, the story spills out. 

I have become a pro at not laughing and being very serious about the fact that mommy makes the rules and he needs to follow them.  But really, how  hard can you be on a kid that tells on himself?? 

Quite a few random questions have started to plague me, adding to the others I think of when I can’t sleep at 3am. 

Will Diego ever understand why he has had to have all of these interventions? 

Does he know that other children don’t have Ms. Kims, Ms Lauras, and chewy tubes?? 

Will I be able to have a conversation with him when he is an adult about all of the things we had to do when he was a kid??? 

Will he ever understand  how being on the autism spectrum sets him apart?? 

Will he know that even though he isn’t “typical” ,that he is still a productive and useful person? 

With ASD’s becoming so prevalent will society realize what a fantastic and funny boy he is?? 

Will he be accepted??

I did not come up with a single answer and these recent unanswered questions have left me feeling uneasy.

These came in the mail today. 

Narwhal and Beluga meet Blue

Watching Diego delicately remove the Narwhal and Beluga from their packaging was so sweet. 

Diego doesn’t usually do anything delicately 🙂 . 

 He was very excited to add the Narwhal and Beluga whales to his recently obtained Blue whale and he hasn’t stopped asking to take a bath since he set eyes on them. 

We are amassing quite the ocean collection in our home.

Next on D’s list??

A squid and a grey whale

Happy Autism Awareness Day!

Last night Diego had a tantrum, not a meltdown, a typical 4 y/o old, fake crying tantrum. There was no hitting himself or me, no head banging, no throwing of items, nada!

It was fantastic.

I know that might sound crazy, but he has been super ASD kid for the past two weeks and I can’t tell you the last time he had a “typical” tantrum. 

I really can’t…

Sleep has always been an issue for Diego, although I put him in bed at 8:30pm  he doesn’t usually fall asleep until 10:30-11:00pm and is very hard to wake up in the morning.  He takes a nap at school and that is currently our saving grace.  Do children still nap in kindergarten??  If not, his sleep issues may need to be addressed, because he will not do well.  Last night he finally passed out around 11:30pm but was awake at 5am wrestling his kid size plush Optimus Prime. 


At least he was in a good mood.

The schools are closed today and I asked my mom to watch both boys for a couple of hours.  She is pretty nervous about sitting with D.  I guess she even asked my sister what to do.  When I spoke with her yesterday I tried to explain that she should just treat him as she would any other child with a few minor modifications.  We went over those things and she seemed a bit more at ease.  Lyric will be there as well and his goofy faces always save the day :).

I hope that they will have a great time and that this will build her confidence when interacting with Diego.

*crossing fingers*

Today is Autism Awareness Day and Jess over at  Diary of a Mom has a fantastic post about why we should continue to get the word out

She is really fabulous with words and gets the point across beautifully.

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far

Dr Lincoln is going to think that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree after I present him with the indexed and organized binder of  Diego’s prior assessments from psych, speech, OT , and his teacher. 

It is really quite lovely if I do say so myself.


Really…busy work is the only way I am going to keep my sanity until the appointment on Wednesday.  I don’t want that psychologist to miss anything, so I have made all of the reports as easy as possible to read and navigate through.  Along with this I have gone back in time and noted which speech milestones Diego did and did not hit on time (with the help of his aunt 🙂 ) then put them on a spreadsheet. 

What the hell else am I gonna do when I can’t sleep at 4am??

I figure the spreadsheet will be good for both Dr Lincoln and our second speech assessment on the 19th. 

I think that I am better prepared for both this time around.

Did I mention that I am a hot no sleep having mess?? 

 In all of my anxiety and angst I forgot to write about the NFAR Race For Autism that we did this past Saturday!!  There were about 3,000 people out and it was a beautiful sight to see.  I was so touched that my family, friends and many others came out to support. 

Lyric ended up running, cast and all, the entire 3.2 miles in 32 minutes!!  I am a horribly out of shape petite girl and walked the 3.2 miles in 54 minutes.  My mom and Candace took pity and walked with me the entire way. 

I hate running…with a passion!!

Give me a bike any day…or pilates again. 

But it did remind me that I should take better care of my physical health, I’m not getting any younger and my pant size is only gonna grow. 🙂

It might also relieve some of this stress that I have going on.

Just a thought 🙂

Riddle Me This

Diego (at dinner): “Mommy I get full if I eat three of them.”


Me: “Ok Diego so you are full??”

Diego: “Noooo I get full if I eat three of them!!  I only have two of them.”

*think Shivon think, ok he is having PB&J (the standard) and nectarines….what is he talking about three of them?? wait two things the PB&J and nectarines, he must want more food!! Then it would be three things…*

Me: “Diego, honey are you still hungry??  Do you want something else to eat?”

Diego: ” Yes mommy three things.”

Poor kid as hard as it was for me to figure that out, it must have been so frustrating to him  that he couldn’t just come out and say “mom, I want more food.”

Yesterday was a hard day.  Besides the migraine that I was overcome with I was almost in full panic attack mode.  Diego has been having a very hard time the past two weeks, with everything.  As a result of this he is acting out physically.  He hit a boy at school because the child said he was friends with one of Diego’s only friends at school.  When I attempted to speak to him about it, he just said that *Josh couldn’t be *Adam’s friend because Adam was his (Diego’s)friend.  My poor monster, he didn’t understand that a person can have  more than one friend.  You could tell he was very anxious about losing his friend.  So I tried to explain, and use examples.  I am crossing my fingers that it will help.  Diego also keeps saying that he wants to be sick.  When I ask why he wants to be sick, he says that if he is sick that he won’t have to go to school. When I ask him why he doesn’t want to go to school, he says his friends are mean to him 😦 .  At times like this, I just want to take him and run away to a place where everyone is nice and all is ok.

Not very realistic.

I try to talk about what he can do to make school better and let him know how wonderful he is.  I am not sure how to help him regulate his anxiety to better navigate the social situations he his having such a hard time with.  Looking for a book on this and if you guys have any recommendations please let me know. 

I spoke with Diego’s play therapist yesterday.  She did the Gilliam Asperger’s Disorder Scale and Diego scored 100 (pretty damn high), which is HILARIOUS because the school pysch said he didn’t even score in the lowest range when she did it.   So the play therapist is going to compose a letter with all of her findings from the time she has spent with him. 

This will help. 

I hope.

The appointment for the  second pysch assessment is on Wednesday April 7th with Dr Alan Lincoln who founded CARES here in San Diego.  Last night mid migraine I took a close look at Diego’s speech development.  It has never been on point.  I dropped the ball because when we were referred for speech therapy I didn’t pursue the 6 month wait it was to get in.  At the same time he started pre-school and his speech was getting better.  I had been told so many times that the fact that he was learning  a dual language was responsible for his speech delay.  Once he left the spanish speaking home daycare and went to pre school I just  figured all would be well.  It got better, but not as it should have and I just figured he was gonna take more time.   I am trying not to beat myself up about not being mroe pro-active, ummm but yeah. 

Easier said than done. 

So when I speak with the psych next Wednesday I will bring up the possibility of a High Functioning Autism Diagnosis versus an Asperger’s Diagnosis since a speech delay is what separates the two in the DSM. 

Diego would get more services with a HFA diagnosis.  I will also bring up the fact that Diego does much  better with adults and will question exactly what his assessment will entail, and will request a school visit as a part of it.  A lot is riding on Dr Alan Lincoln and his diagnosis and it is driving me nuts!!  I have been reassured by a counselor that used to work for him that he takes what the parents say very seriously and I hope so because my experience is that I am treated like a crazy woman. 

I hate being treated like I am crazy, when all I am looking for is to get my baby the help he needs.