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Learning Every Day

A lot of my time is spent trying to see things from Diego’s perspective. I LISTEN every time he has something to say because it gives me a glimpse into what life is like for him. Maybe then I will have a better idea of how to help ease some of his pain associated with being autistic in a neurotypical world.
I don’t want to change who my son is or have him think that he is less because he is an autistic person.
I want him to embrace his amazing mind and have confidence in who he is. I tell him everyday how lucky I am that I was chosen to be his mother. This has been and continues to be a life changing experience. Parenting Diego shares some similarities as raising my neurotypical son, Lyric. As their mother I teach them things that will make this world easier to navigate as they grow up. From basic activities of daily living to the more intricate things like friendships and relationships. But with Diego this process can be very different, because the way Diego sees things is different.
He has had to teach ME how to teach HIM.
When Diego does/says something that I think is out of the ordinary I will ask him why he did or said that. The way he describes things allows me to get his perspective on so many different things. Our discussions are always enlightening for me. I am fortunate that he is able to communicate these things to me, and when he doesn’t have the words to discuss, I respect that and make a note to ask another time.
When we talk about why he dislikes or likes a certain thing I take mental notes. These things help me get a glimpse into his mind. With this knowledge I am able to come up with ways to help him develop the core skills he may need to be successful in this neurotypical world.
I am raising my child to grow up and be an adult that will know how to advocate for himself, be confident in who he is and happy with the life he chooses.
My dream for both of my children are these things.
When I write about the hard times associated with autism, I am not looking to depict my son as somebody that is less than or is a burden, but I write to raise awareness of how hard it is for my autistic child to constantly have to accommodate to a neurotypical world. I write about the good times too, to raise awareness that autistic people have so much to give to this world.
I also write this blog because of The Tribe.
Raising a child with special needs is hard work, this blog allows me to connect with other parents raising children like mine.
When I am having a bad day I am able to go to my blogroll and find the blog entry of a mom having a similar day and then I don’t feel so lonely or if I post the guesome details about a hard day and voice that i am out of ideas, one of the tribe is to the rescue with amazing advice.
Some days support is the simple yet powerful ‘I get it’
Maybe it was wrong for me to say in my last post that I hate autism.
I don’t hate the brain difference, but I hate the struggles associated with it.
It is heartbreaking for me to watch my child lose it.
I get that it might be neccessary that he does so, but I need to figure out why it happened so that that whatever caused it it can be avoided or to teach Diego the tools to get through it a little easier the next time.
I can’t imagine that a meltdown is a pleasant experience, in fact I have asked Diego about them and he has assured me that they are not.
I have been meaning to write my thoughts on this forever, but needed a quiet hour so that I could get it across like I wanted to. It isn’t a coincidence that this comes on the tail of Autistics Speaking Day. I was incredibly moved by all of the blog entries I read. Each one has given me incredible insight. I think there are over one hundred different entries. TTPGTA posted this excellent round up from Mosaic of Minds
I am still learning….everyday I am learning.

3 responses »

  1. Shivon: D is incredibly lucky to have you as a Mom! You are amazing.

  2. I don’t think any of us would ever judge you for saying you “hate” autism because we all know exactly where you heart is and what you mean.
    It’s SO hard to watch your child struggle every step of the way. For what it’s worth, I think you’re an absolutely amazing Mom to do all that you do.
    Hugs xx

  3. Hoping things get better soon, and thanks for that link, had not heard about this!


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