It has been 8 hours since I gave Diego his morning dose of Tenex, in those 8 hours he has been a dazed and drowsy 5 year-old. He has just laid around and watched cartoons, with no energy to do much else.
This is very hard to watch.
I understand that this will more than likely get much better, hopefully sooner than later, but it is rough…right…now.
I already have this horrible feeling in my stomach every time I crush the pill, mix it with applesauce, and give it to him, despite the fact that it is working.
It was a manageable feeling when he was not really experiencing any side effects, but today with a bit of side effects, the horrible feeling is anything but manageable.
The Tenex is doing a good job overall and I will keep this at the forefront of my mind while watching D in his zombielike state.
When I went to get D from school on Friday his poor teacher was horrified as she recounted the story of Diego’s self-injury that occurred that day. He was in the writing group and kept getting frustrated because his letters weren’t “perfect” and proceeded to hit himself four different times. His teacher did her best to redirect him each time,but when D is on his quest for perfection it’s nearly impossible to get him to think of anything else but. She eventually had him move on to another activity with moderate resistance. This is the first time he has demonstrated self-injury to this degree at school and it really concerned her. Unfortunately this isn’t new to me.I discussed different ways to handle it, if it happened again, and I spent a lot of time comforting her.
As I write this it is unreal that this is part of our reality, that self injury doesn’t jar me the way it once did.
I am so thankful for this blog.
Writing is my only way to process all of this.
Yesterday I met with the neuropsych that I initially took D to see a year ago when I had my ASD suspicions. The one that told me that based on her 90 minute assessment, that she didn’t think that D was on the spectrum, but bring him back in a year and that she would re-assess.
Despite the fact that Diego has now been diagnosed with ASD, I made the appointment to see her and then made the appointment for D’s assessment which isnt until October. So when we met yesterday, I came with all of my reports not expecting much from her.
My general opinion of neuropsychiatrists isn’t very high due to some crappy experiences, but after reading over everything that I brought, that woman looked at me and said he is definitely Asperger’s/HFA. She told me that with all of the interventions Diego has had, if it wasn’t ASD he would have gotten better, he hasn’t.
She went on to explain her hesitance in making this diagnosis a year ago, as she feels ASD is typically being overdiagnosed.
I could tell she was scrambling.
I let her for a bit.
I finaly explained to her that I understood her hesitance, but that she may want to LISTEN to the mother of the next child a bit more.
If I have learned anything it is that I KNOW my baby and I would assume that most mothers of sound mind and body (this is subjective..lol) are on the same boat.
So with that said, she stated that she will repeat the ADOS in October and that is that.
I couldn’t care less about this upcoming assessment as it will have no effect on what we already know. The only thing that may come out of it is that the school district and the regional center may pull their collective heads out of their collective asses and give D the services he needs.
Which brings me to Kindergarten, I just want to scream every time I think about it. But ‘think’ I must because Kindergarten starts in 2 weeks, and the reality isn’t going anywhere….at all.
In three weeks D will be starting a social skills group with a focus on school readiness and I am hopeful that this will give him better coping skills for school.
On a lighter note, last night I gave D some craft supplies and he came up with the ‘Blue Whale’ masterpiece below!
Yup, I just wanna bite him!! 🙂