Tonight we will be starting Diego on Tenex. Once at bedtime for a week and then increase to a morning dose as well.
This is real…
I have a child with autism.
A year later the wound is still so fresh.
I hope this post doesn’t give the impression that this is the only part of Diego that I see.
Because it is not.
I have an amazing child.
I thank God almost everyday, but some days I curse Him.
I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t say that.
Diego’s autism has made me question God’s existence and ask ‘why’ so many times. I don’t know where I am with this as I still pray to Him, but it is more so out of habit than true faith.
Everyday is an emotional rollercoaster, from happiness to despair at any given time. This is so damn hard and there is no eloquent or pretty way to say that.
It is so f*cking hard
My wonderful sister stayed with both Diego and Lyric for two days, and when I returned looked at me and said she was glad that Rickey was home in the evening twice in the week to give me a break. She did such a great job, but my poor sis was worn out.
My days are consumed with various appointments five times a week, IEP meetings, preparing for IEP meetings, parent teacher conferences, full-time work, my other child, house work, cooking, Rickey, etc… Each one of these things presents their own challenges and all depend on Diego’s behavior. I am not super mom…never pretended to be. Some days I probably don’t even meet the basic mom quota.
I am just surviving, as we all are I guess.