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Sanity

In an effort to maintain whatever sanity I have left, I have only allowed myself to start stressing about Diego starting Kindergarten once August hits.  Any time the thought enters my mind I quickly push it out. 

It hasn’t been easy at all and maybe subconsciously I am still worrying about it hence the Anxiety Induced Insomnia that has reached all new heights of deprivation.

*sigh*

The reality is, I have plenty to worry about this month.  The issue of custody will be decided Tuesday, and while I am confident that it will be in our favor, It is still nerve-wracking to leave this kind of decision to the complete strangers of the court. I still haven’t seen the mediator’s report and am hoping I will before Tuesday, most times the judge goes along with what the mediator recommends and seeing as how Diego’s dad didn’t lie about much I can’t see her recommending anything different from the temporary order we have now.

Lots of unanswered questions…my favorite…

Diego’s tantrums are so much better!! 

He hasn’t hit himself or me in about a month and a half, coincidentally around the same time the custody order was temporarily modified to one overnight with his dad.  

Yeah maybe not a coincidence.

*Kanye shrug*

Diego is still yelling at me when I can’t guess what he wants, especially when he is anxious and can’t find his words.  When he does this I try to explain that he is “in his head” and I am not.  I explain that in order for me to help him “solve his problem” I need him to speak to me and not yell at me.  These are techniques from a book I read and I am hoping that with consistent usage that they will work, because right now they aren’t.  It may also be time for a reward system, to aid in helping him learn how to regulate his emotions.  I think I am going to start this in August.  If anyone had any ideas as to how to make this work PLEASE send ’em my way!

What I am about to write, I have held onto for a while.  I was concerned that I would sound like an ungrateful awful mom, but I need to vent.

Diego has taken his compliments of “Mommy I think you are beautiful/pretty” and turned them into a script.  I hear this every 5 minutes and it makes me absolutely crazy. 

It could be worse right?? 

But I can’t help but resent that Diego’s Asperger’s has taken something that used to touch my heart  and has twisted it into what gets to be quite annoying the 50th time one has heard it in an evening. 

God it sounds awful but I wish he would say it less. 

When he says it, it isn’t coming from a sincere  place as it once did, he is using it as means to communicate who knows what.  True to script form, if I respond any differently than “thank you honey, you are so sweet” Diego will correct me and tell me to say what I “said before.”  

If I refuse he yells…

I really hate Asperger’s.

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About sonidoinquieto

I hate writing bios *bio pending*

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