My beautiful son,
I know the past 9 months have been rough on you. Our main focus has been on Diego and you were all too willing to step aside while we helped your brother, in fact you joined in to help. This is just your way. I have been doing my best to make sure that you don’t feel left out, or that we love your brother more. The both of you bring such joy into my life. Any time I may question God’s existence all I have to do is look at the two of you and all doubt fades away. We talked last night, you and I. You were sad, tears streamed down your face as you tried to find the words to express that you missed the time we used to spend together. My heart broke into a million pieces, I am so sorry that you are feeling tossed aside. I cried with you and explained that everyday I am trying to find a balance in this chaos, and not to feel bad about expressing your need for our alone time.
I feel like I have failed you.
I need you to know that you are just as much of a priority as your brother, even if it doesn’t feel like it some days. I spend many sleepless nights worrying if I am doing right by you guys, at the end of this session I usually come back with “I can do more.”
Our conversation ended with a promise of a “date night” for just me and you , as well as time for you and Rickey. You know mommy doesn’t break promises. 🙂
This put a smile on your handsome face and warmed my heart.
But I cried that night, I cried for you, for me, for Rickey, and for your brother. We are all doing everything we can to survive this. I appreciate all of the consideration and love you have for your little brother, your wisdom and compassion are beyond your 11 years. “Tweens” are, by definition, self-absorbed. You defy that definition, you are such an exceptional young man with a giant heart. The way you love your brother, me and Rickey is inspirational and I love you so much Lyric.