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Career?? What Career??

 

Most days I curse my job. 

Most days I dread walking through the hospital doors. 

But honestly with my reduced work schedule, I realized that I kinda miss working.  Maybe not all of the stress, but I sure do miss immersing myself in the daily operations of my job.  I have been working since I was 15 years-old and my work  is one of the things that has defined me as a person. 

About a year ago D’s challenges took a front seat and my career  took a backseat.  I’m currently stuck in a specialty that is less than favorable and  I can’t take the risk of interrupting my insurance by switching.  Although for my sanity I NEED to go back to pediatrics, but between the insurance issue and finding an employer understanding enough to work with D’s therapy schedule (regardless of  the law) I am just going to have to stay where I am. 

My job now isn’t horrible, I have a great boss and that is a blessing all by itself, especially since I can’t always be the right hand she needs in clinic.  I knock out most of my work in office and  the a.m hours when I can’t sleep, but my job requires for me to be here physically all day and I’m not. 

I like to do things 100% not at 90%….I take pride in my work….it’s my tragic Type A personality.  So now along with my music and poetry, it seems my career is on the back-burner too. 

This makes me quite sad….maybe this is part of the mourning process aswell.

Honestly I feel like a selfish brat just writing about this, but I can’t be the only parent of a special needs child that feels this way….right??

I just want things back the way they used to be.

Ha!

This is another reason I get so frustrated when certain “experts” choose to express their flawed opinions….like I would choose for my little monster to have these challenges! Challenges that have not only completely altered his life but mine as well!!

*sigh*

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About sonidoinquieto

I hate writing bios *bio pending*

2 responses »

  1. I left a very lucrative full time job to stay home and make sure C made all his appointments and had an advocate…you’re not the only one!! It sucks sometimes to put ourselves on the back burner for the sake of someone else (in my case, MIL and C)…but the financial/emotional headache is worth it in a way.

    Reply
  2. You are DEFINITELY not the only one that feels like this!
    It’s normal to feel ripped off and miss what could have been.
    I’ve been told that it’s part of the mourning process…..x

    Reply

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