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Impossible Decision

Since Diego was diagnosed with an ASD in September of 2009, I have attempted to help D’s father, aunt and the rest of his family understand the diagnosis.  I have offered reading material, meetings, tools,basically everything I was learning I offered to Diego’s father and his aunt.  

In December Diego’s father was still denying anything was going on and quite an asshole toward me when we did have to talk about Diego.  It seemed hopeless and Diego was severely affected, as there is no structure with his father. 

None. 

So I petitioned the court to change our custody arrangement, we went to mediation in February and Diego’s father promised and signed an official document stating he would provide the things Diego needs per the doctor’s orders, Diego’s aunt said the same. 

Come to find out that since since February they have done nothing.  Which explains so much now.  The Saturday psych sessions that Diego’s father does actually attend have had no impact on how he cares for Diego, and if anything show how ignorant he chooses to be about all of this. 

I have to know when to say when and I am saying WHEN.

I will no longer beg and plead Diego’s father and his family to accept this diagnosis and act in Diego’s best interest.  I will no longer rack my brain for ways to help them understand.  I will not sit back and allow their lack of motivation/education to hold Diego back. 

Diego is regressing, I had a suspicion, then his teachers brought it up and the appointment with the neurologist confirmed it.  I don’t have a choice in accepting this and am floored that the people who are supposed to love Diego won’t see that what they are doing is just hurting him and making things worse.  On May 11th I am going to ask the judge to greatly decrease the time that Diego spends with his dad until he can educate himself and prove that he is going to act in Diego’s best interest rather than parent him based on his ego and what he feels he knows.

I tried so hard to keep the time they spend together the same, hoping and praying it would all work out.  I am sad that it has to be this way and that Diego’s father chooses to spend his time blaming me and not forcing himself to accept what it is.  But I am Diego’s mom and I must do what I have to,

to protect him.

As parents of children with special needs, we constantly fight to ensure our babies get what they need.  It is unnatural to fight with a  parent over what his child needs.

I hope he comes around soon.

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About sonidoinquieto

I hate writing bios *bio pending*

6 responses »

  1. Praying the judge makes the best decision for Diego and that his Dad learns his lesson.

    Reply
  2. Just wondering…….does your ex or any members of his family show any signs of AS? I only ask because my husband does and is useless when it comes to parenting our 2 asd kids.
    He is childish, irresponsible, explosive and living in denial and blames me when 1 of them gets too much to handle …..”you should have handled it better” etc etc etc….What he and his mum and sister fail to see is that the complete lack of empathy, selfishness and “adult tantrums” are all some of the MANY AS traits that they all have in common with the kids
    But they still can’t see that they are exactly the same and HARD TO HANDLE….grrrrrr x

    Reply
  3. I’m so sorry that you have to fight on every front. Sending strength.

    Reply
  4. therocchronicles

    Go Mama! You know what is right! Do what you need to to make sure he’s getting what he needs.

    Reply
  5. Yes, you are doing the right thing!I know it is hard but Diego’s dad needs to step up. If Diego was a parapligic would his dad force him to walk? Of course not! They would accomidate his needs. They need to wake up. Good for you!!

    Reply
  6. Shivon, I know this isn’t an easy situation for you but you are doing the right thing. Hopefully, Diego’s dad will shape up and get with the program. Fingers crossed!

    Reply

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