As much as I and probably her hate to admit it, my mom’s bond with Diego was never as deep as her bond with Lyric. Lyric was super lovey dovey absolutely in love with his Nana boy. Diego wasn’t lovey dovey in love with anybody boy.
I found ways to bond with him on his terms and I enjoyed the difference. Due to my persistence he turned into the ultimate mama’s boy.
I think my mother took his demeanor personally. Don’t get me wrong, she loved him,but I could tell the difference. As a result of this I chose not to ask her to help me much when it came to Diego. I’m sure that this didn’t help develop their relationship either. She was very involved with Lyric from he time he was born.
So when we got the diagnosis of Asperger’s it was kind of a blessing for Diego’s relationship with his Nana. Finally there was a concrete reason for why he was the was he was.
There it was in writing for her.
Since we got the diagnosis my mom has chosen to learn as much as she can about Asperger’s, what she doesn’t understand or know she has gone out of her way to ask me. Since we got the diagnosis, my mom has gone out of her way to forge a deeper bond with Diego.
Yesterday she even got upset that I didn’t ask her to come over and help me bathe Diego.
(I burned my 3 fingers on my left hand a couple of days ago making pizza with the boys….lol.., which made bathing Diego by myself impossible)
Anyway, I told her that I didn’t want to put her in position where she would have to say no and feel bad about it. I guess I just automatically assumed that it was something she wouldn’t want to do because of the history. I was wrong and she said that I should call on her to help with D more often.
My mom asks me everyday what she can do to help me, but honestly there isn’t much that I personally don’t have to do.
What she doesn’t realize is that everyday I see heraccept Diego for all he is and make the effort to enter his world is more help than she could ever give doing anything else. I love it that she stays stocked up on marshmallows, gives Diego extra time to answer her questions, and talks to Diego about his exhausted yet favorite topic, “sea animals.” She has found a way to develop her own special relationship with Diego.
I recognize that this required her to put forth time and emotional energy to relearn just about everything that she has known about how to show love.
To me she has accomplished an amazing feat.
Thanks mom 🙂