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Broken

Today is a hard day.

Diego had a playdate this morning with two of the kids from our old social skills group one neuro-typical and one on the spectrum. 

It is hard not to compare him to the others. 

It is bittersweet to see the strides one of the boys has made (they are major),but it made the deficits Diego has glaringly apparent to me.

Don’t get me wrong, it was so good to see everyone, they are great and I look forward to doing it again.

But

between today and what happened Thursday, I am crushed.

What am I doing wrong??

Why isn’t he further along?!?!

Whydidn’t I see that he hasn’t been progressing like he should??

What am I going to do with the limited resources that I have??

I am broken today.

Just broken….

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About sonidoinquieto

I hate writing bios *bio pending*

2 responses »

  1. hugs.

    and know – please know that these kids can’t be compared to anyone – not ANYONE – but themselves. development comes in fits and starts and suddenly skills that were NOWHERE pop up when you least expect them.

    when he’s ready, you’ll see – these little baby steps will turn to quantum leaps.

    i promise.

    stay strong.

    Reply
  2. Awe, honey, the ONLY thing you’re dong wrong is not being gentle with yourself. Honest. You are Diego’s mama FIRST. You are giving him all you’ve got and then some.

    One day you will be able to look back and see the changes you’ve brought about with that fierce mama love and determination. You’re too close to see it in the moment. He is so young and there’s SO much he will eventually do and learn and master. HONEST.

    Just keep loving him and seeing the beautiful child in front of you. He will progress in his own time and way. All you can do is keep making opportunities for growth. You know, the old saying about leading a horse to water and making him drink…

    Big hugs to you. And, hey, would you go easy on yourself, please?

    Reply

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