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Watching

I wonder if I will ever stop watching…stop analyzing everything that Diego does. I wonder if I will ever stop comparing his development to the other children he is around. Ever since I suspected that Diego might be on the autism spectrum, I have done nothing but watch my poor child’s every move for six months, he doesn’t notice so I have that going for me. In the beginning it was to validate my concerns. The first psychologist we saw for an assessment basically said he was “just fine”, my gut said much different, but I still needed this validation so I watched and noted, then reported. Now I watch to see if the therapies we are putting him through are making a difference, I watch to see if there is anything new, I just watch. Rickey can tell when I am watching and will promptly tell me to cut it out and relax, all I tell him is that I wish I could.
Watching is now second nature to me.
I am gearing up for the school district assessment next week. I have made copies of all of his assessments, asked his current psychologist to write a letter outlining his challenges, and asked his current teachers to get together and write a letter. Well I asked Ms Gabby and she will get all of the input and draft the letter. I have the psychologist’s letter in hand.
New information about Diego in black and white always seems to throw me for a loop.
This letter was no different. It detailed Diego’s social deficits, specifically noting his rigidity, lack of imagination, and poor eye contact.
I actually think Diego’s eye contact has gotten worse than it was 6 months ago.
Is that even possible?!?
Anyway, I hope that all of this will help the school district see that Diego will need assistance in kindergarten next year. I am blessed that Ms Gabby has just about assigned herself as Diego’s aide throughout his day at school. Everyday I pick Diego up and speak with her she gives me a full report of his entire day and how she makes sure that he is right next to her when she knows that he is facing things that challenge him.
I am praying for strength for this next battle, but I have also broken down and contacted the ATPF Mentor Program here in San Diego. I need a parent of a child with Asperger’s specifically to help me navigate all of this and that is what ATPF offers, at no cost. I spoke with the head of the program and she said that she has some strong families that have children with Asperger’s that she could match me with. I am meeting with an associate Saturday for the intake.

I am still running on empty and now we can add insomnia to the mix.   Some days I am still not sure how I am going to make it through, but somehow I do.

Thank God for this.

As a side note I have ordered my copy of Gravity Pulls You In  and can’t wait to sit and read the words of other parents who “get it.”   I bought a copy for myself and one to gift.  If you are interested you should do so as well 🙂

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About sonidoinquieto

I hate writing bios *bio pending*

One response »

  1. therocchronicles

    I don’t know if we will ever stop watching. I think it’s a part of this whole mother gig!

    And San Diego! Please tell me about San Diego! I am so SICK of where I live (on the other coast) and my husband and I are kicking around the idea of SD. He randomly was in line behind someone from SD at a geek store last night and they got to talking, this guy mentioned he has a couple friends with ASD kids in SD. And then I read your blog and find you are in SD! No accident?

    If you wouldn’t mind–would you tell me what you think of the place, and what it has to offer our special brand of kiddos?

    Reply

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