With trepidation this morning I ordered Adam on my DVR. I was unsure if I was in a good place emotionally to watch this movie.
Adam is a movie about a young man who has Asperger’s Syndrome.
A couple of months ago I watched Mozart and The Whale and I didn’t do so well.
I didn’t feel like that movie accurately depicted the struggles of Aspergers, or maybe it did and I just didn’t care for how dark it was. I’m sure they meant well, but I was more disturbed then touched by it.
Adam is an entirely different story. The main character is a 29 year-old man whose father just died. The movie’s primary focus is how Adam’s romantic relationship with his neurotypical neighbor Beth develops. But the movie shows so much more. It shows Adam’s issues with mind blindness, literal translations, social situations, sensory issues, and even shows how Beth “teaches” him the proper etiquette for a job interview. What is so much more about this movie is that it shows Adam’s growth, his strength and eventual ability to overcome his issues or use them to his advantage.
I saw so much of Diego in his character and it made me sad at times,but when the movie ended I felt hopeful. Hopeful that every damn thing that I am doing now is going to save Diego from a lot of the heart ache that the character in the movie suffered, and faith that even when Diego is faced with challenges as an adult that I will have done all I can to provide him the tools to persevere.
Some days I really feel like I could be organized and do more. I take a weekly inventory of my actions and usually come up short.
But I am somewhat comforted that at least I am doing something.
I love Diego so much.
Maybe I am a little biased but I think everyone should see this movie that knows somebody on the spectrum.
I am so grateful that Max Mayer wrote this story and that Hugh Dancy (the actor who played Adam) and Rose Byrne (the actress who played Beth) portrayed their characters with such honesty and beauty.
Yesterday I met with the family court mediation coach (yes they exist and horribly expensive) and while discussing Diego’s appointments and schedules at home she stopped me, put her head in her hands and said “My God that sounds exhausting!!”
I just kind of laughed the comment off and went on about how badly I needed Diego’s dad to get out of denial and on board.
The meeting was informative and I basically paid money to get the piece of mind I needed, although my stomach is still in knots about how that money could have been spent on some therapy aids for Diego (My attorney neglected to say how much it would cost and I wasn’t told until AFTER…*sigh*…but its done).
As I was leaving our meeting the mediation coach stopped me and told me that Diego was very lucky to have such a good mom.
All I thought is how much more I could be doing.
***mental note: I must learn to give myself a break sometimes***
After the meeting,I picked up Diego from pre-school and spoke with his aunt (my ex sister-in law) for a bit and she asked if she could come with me to Diego’s appointments on Tuesdays. I almost jumped for joy when she asked because she has been floating down “denial” for a bit as well. She and Diego’s father live in the same house, so I am hoping she will start to implement the things that Diego needs and his father will follow suit.
Diego’s father and I have mediation with the court on February 9th and I’m hoping that when he hears everything that I have been saying from someone else that it will get through to him and that when the actually court date in March comes around I can tell my attorney drop the custody issue, his father is on board.
On top of everything else…I’m very angry with God right now….Haiti really put me over the edge….i don’t get it and probably never will…..I hope this anger passes…..I don’t think it is good to be angry with the Creator of Everything…